50 Steps To Becoming The Woman Of Your Dreams
We all want a glow-up.
A glow-up that sticks, a glow-up that others see and a glow-up that we genuinely feel fulfilled by.
The daydreams and the visual images we hold in our minds are so vivid, but when it comes to putting them into practice, we often get stuck, seeing only the big picture while forgetting the small details that will actually get us there.
Many people focus on the aesthetic of it all and not on who she really is.
In order to become that girl, you need to understand her attributes, her qualities, her strengths and even her weaknesses. It’s important to know exactly who you’re stepping into.
Once again, it’s worth knowing that this kind of transformation isn’t something that happens overnight, no matter how much we wish it would. It's a project, a journey: One that must be manoeuvred in a healthy, intentional way.
That’s why it’s important to research her while also reflecting on who you are now. Don’t let these questions overwhelm you or lead you into an unhealthy state of comparison.
Instead, allow each one to bring you a step closer to aligning your habits, mindset, and lifestyle with the woman you want to become.
So here, I’ve gathered a list of 50 questions to help you become her and design your new and improved era.
Let Your New Chapter Begin…
Hey Girlie :) Continue Reading, But First Pin This Post For Later
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Let’s Start With Her Identity & Self-Awareness
1. How many languages does she speak, and what are they?
From Spanish, French, Italian…the list goes on. What are her travel goals, and what cultures does she find interesting? Does she know the language of her parents or grandparents?
2. What’s one subject or topic she’s deeply passionate about?
Which topic gets her going, where research and self-studying don’t feel like work but intrigue, enjoyment and fulfilment? There’s a subject she could spend hours confidently speaking about to anyone. Get yourself a book dedicated to learning more and diving in a little deeper.
3. What values guide her decisions?
Make a list of the things she refuses to compromise on. It could be her faith, the way she wants to be loved, discipline…the list goes on. Don’t just list it as bullet points; write it as a declaration. After all, it is these values that guide her path in life.
4. What kind of woman does she admire, and why?
From the women that she watches online, listens to on a podcast or sees in person, what are the things she admires about them? Could it be their confidence, their self-awareness, their work ethic, boundaries, their soft energy, elegance or intelligence?
5. What does she refuse to tolerate moving forward?
Just like her values, what are her boundaries, her non-negotiables? What environment does she refuse to find herself in? What behaviours, such as disrespect, self-neglect, chaos, and inconsistency, does she refuse to express or receive?
6. How does she introduce herself confidently?
Does her friendliness and upbeat personality show when she introduces herself? Is she calmer, soft, and relaxed at first glance? Does she carry a smile? The way she speaks about herself, even in a few sentences, builds her self-image and the way she shows up in spaces.
7. What does “success” look like to her now?
Is it inner peace, a balanced life, meaningful relationships, or wealth? There is importance in having her own idea and definition of what success looks like, rather than just relying on what society has declared for her.
8. What makes her feel most like herself?
What moments make her feel energetic, calm, deeply aligned, creative, and expressive? These moments are crucial in shaping how she takes control of her emotions and implements more of the things she needs.
9. What old version of herself has she outgrown?
It’s time to identify and release the habits, mindset, and characteristics that are diminishing your glow-up rather than enhancing you to become your better self.
10. What does she want to be remembered for?
In the long term, what emotions and feelings does she want to evoke from others? Does she want her curiosity, intelligence, warmth, care, and humour to shine above all else? In the short term, when she walks into a room, read: ‘7 Girly Ways You Can Instantly Be Remembered’ to stand out and captivate others immediately.
Continue reading, but first, save this to your “Becoming Her” board to reflect on later :)
Her Lifestyle & Daily Living
11. What does a fun, exciting day in her life look like?
What are the things that make her spontaneous, full of laughter, and alive? Is it a certain environment, certain people, when she’s inspired, or when she’s doing something interesting? How do you get her to carry a smile daily on her face?
12. What does a calm, quiet, joy-filled day look like for her?
Where does her peace stem from? How can she carry true inner peace wherever she goes? What are some of the things that she does when she’s not in a rush? What makes her feel grounded and emotionally safe? How does she strike a balance between enjoying the present and planning for a successful future?
Read: How To Find True Beauty In Those Slow And Boring Moments, Alone!
13. What does her ideal morning routine include?
How does she start the day off successfully? Is it waking up early and immediately jumping into journaling, praying, skincare, a morning workout, or checking social media? In all, her morning routine should uplift and support her energy and not drain it.
Read: 7 Cute Ways To Make Your Morning Routine More Girly And Luxurious
14. What does her night routine look like?
How does she wind down from an eventful day? How does she set the tone for the next day? Does she have much to do, like planning tomorrow’s outfit, meals, making a to-do list, or cleaning up? Perhaps, she takes a more soothing approach in which she reads, watches a movie, does her face and bodycare, and calls her loved ones? Or maybe it’s simply a mix of both?
Read: How To Have The Best Night Routines Habits
15. How does she care for her physical space?
She knows that her space is her peace, and so she treats it as such. Visualise how she wants her home, her workspace, and the places she shows up to feel. From feminine to high-luxury to calm, cosy and inspiring, what does her energy shift towards? What aura does she want to radiate?
16. What habits does she practice daily without negotiation?
What are the habits that cannot go unnoticed by her? What are the non-negotiable things she does to increase her well-being, confidence, and discipline? Maybe it's beauty-focused, and she always makes sure that her facial skincare is done, no matter what. Maybe it’s more of a mental focus where she doesn’t feel the need to overexplain her ideas to anyone.
17. How does she spend her weekends?
Are her weekends spent on resetting, refocusing, and gaining clarity? Maybe she uses her time to create, get inspired, and explore new things and places. Perhaps her weekends are used to socialise and take part in meaningful experiences.
Read: 32 Girly Ideas For Self Care Sunday
18. What simple pleasures does she prioritise?
Romanticising the small things can be said to be the cheat code of a joy-filled life. So what are the small things she takes pleasure in? From solo walks, to music to your shower routine, find the details that enhances your day and sets you up for a quality life.
19. What does her ideal home feel like?
Once again, we know that mindset is affected by our environment, and therefore, the places and people we choose to make our presence known are extremely important. But first, how are we showing up for ourselves? How do our own environments, which we’ve curated, look and feel? Does it accurately represent us? It may not be your dream exterior or interior, but that doesn’t mean it cannot reflect the lifestyle you’re slowly building towards: elegant, expressive, feminine, artsy, etc.
20. How does she balance rest and productivity?
Resting doesn’t mean you’re being lazy or unproductive, so how does she balance this? How does she ensure that her work and productivity don’t lead to burnout? What are the steps that she intentionally puts in place to slow down?
Her Growth, Learning & Skills
21. What skills is she actively developing?
From coding and photography to making her own clothes or writing a book, there are so many skills she could pursue. These skills guide her to live the life she so desires.
22. What is she currently learning or studying?
It can be really rewarding learning something out of your own inspiration, passion, and free will. From formal education, online courses, or YouTube tutorials, what are the topics that keep her engaged mentally?
23. What books would she naturally be drawn to?
What genre and themes does she resonate with or truly love, and why? Why does she love action, thriller, romance, or sci-fi? Make a list of the books (and shows, too) that she truly enjoys. Do a deep dive into it and understand what part of her personality links to the media and content she consumes.
24. What creative outlets does she explore?
How does she create? Is it through writing, art, design, content, music, speaking or movement?
25. What does she want to master in the next 5 years?
Write down her intentions for levelling up her confidence in the future. What decisions has she already made to start transforming her career, business and overall lifestyle? What can she slowly build now that will benefit her in the long run?
26. What knowledge does she wish she had sooner?
Reflecting and gaining clarity about the past helps us to build the person we are in the present and future. What are some lessons she will take with her as she moves forward more wisely?
27. How does she stay mentally stimulated?
Once again, this is a question asking how she gains new ideas and inspiration. How does she challenge her thinking to ensure she’s always engaged and emotionally intelligent? Perhaps it’s through reflection, being in new spaces, talking to different kinds of people with different perspective etc.
28. What fears is she slowly working through?
Acknowledge whether she’s afraid of what growth comes with. Many are afraid to face failure, visibility, intimacy, vulnerability, change, and not having anyone to blame. Growth is not always easy, and it’s often our quiet fears that hold us back.
29. What habits support her personal growth?
Make a list of the sustainable habits that needs consistency to truly thrive and flourish. What are your daily defaults? What are the small actions that need repetition to essentially shape the woman you’re becoming?
30. How does she handle failure or setbacks?
Is she resilient, or do mistakes, setbacks and hardships cause her to fall, crumble and stay down? Does she give herself grace, still maintain high trust with herself, or does she lead with criticism when met with challenges?
Save this to your “New Era” board to revisit for the season you’re stepping into!
Her Career, Money & Ambition
31. What is her dream career, role, or business plan?
Design the kind of work lifestyle that mean something to her, that stimulates and is aligned with who she is and who you’re becoming.
32. What kind of work environment does she thrive in?
In other words, in what places can she present her most authentic self and be at her best? Maybe it’s in places where her culture is magnified, maybe it’s places where she can be creative, or maybe it’s places that mirror her same aesthetic and make her feel warm and cosy.
33. What does financial freedom mean to her?
Is it about having security? Is it about having choices? Is it about cultivating wealth and abundance, or is it about having flexibility and stability?
34. How does she manage and respect money?
Does she own a budgeting planner to keep her finances in order? Does she know how much to save, spend, and invest to be fully aligned with her new chapter?
35. What income stream does she want to build?
What is her main income stream? What creative project should she be working on presently? What are the side projects and passive income streams that she will try out in this new era and why?
36. What would her ideal workday look like?
How can she design and visualise her work life to fit around and align to her life and not the other way around?
37. What risks is she willing to take?
Is she courageous enough to take risks in pursuit of her goals? Does she know when a strategy isn’t working and when it’s time to restart or refresh? Is she ready to learn new skills and change direction to continue on her path to success? It all goes back to self-trust. Can she bet on herself and chase wise decisions for her life?
38. What does she want her CV or portfolio to say about her?
Are these documents reflective of who she really is, and does it give employers a glimpse of the woman you are becoming? Does it say more than your achievements?
39. How does she want her work to impact others?
What is her life purpose, and how does she make a difference? On a bigger scale, what does her work serve? How has this impacted her character?
40. What long-term goals excite her the most?
What long-term goal gets her excited and energises her? What part of building her new era makes her feel alive and ready to start today?
Her Relationships & Standards
41. What are her standards in friendships?
What types of friendships does she value, and does it align with the woman she’s becoming? Does she value mutual effort, consistency, and emotional support? Or perhaps she prefers friendships that are not so deep and rich but encourage and uplifts from a distance?
42. What are her standards in romantic relationships?
Think about who she’s attracted to and the people she does attract. Do they mirror each other? Alongside physical looks, what are the behaviours, values, and emotional attributes she requires in her partner? Do her own attributes match up to her standards?
43. How does she expect people to treat her?
She’s probably a woman who values her time and effort and wants others to value these things too. She wants to be treated with respect and have others show up for her similarly to how she shows up for them.
44. What boundaries does she enforce without guilt?
Put a vibrant yellow tape that says “do not cross!” and never look back. In other words, without guilt, she distances herself from draining people, she doesn’t spend time overexplaining her evolution, she doesn’t ignore her inner voice, and she learns to say “no” with grace.
45. Who deserves access to her energy?
Once again, this is about who she allows access to her energy and how she protects her peace. It is very important to be intentional about who we share our time, attention and emotions with.
46. What kind of love does she believe she deserves?
Is the way she treats herself reflective of the way she wants to be treated by others? Does she take herself on solo dates, does she compliment herself regularly, and does she give herself grace when things go wrong on her behalf?
47. How does she communicate her needs?
Does she take a blunt and direct approach? Does she search for clarity first or flee from the discomfort? Is she emotionally mature in the way she handles her needs and feelings? Does she undermine or overexplain how she’s feeling, or does she communicate calmly and effectively?
48. What does emotional safety look like for her?
She strives to become a woman who connects in a healthy way, and so she’s aware of her love language and her attachment style. Though she never let those things define her, she pays attention to them and continue growing. She wants to feel heard, seen, secure, stable, calm, and respected.
49. What does she value now more than she used to?
As she goes on this “new beginning” journey, what will she be leaving behind? What are her new priorities? What has she learned about her character and the way she has responded to things, love, or conflict? What is her relationship with herself?
50. What kind of life feels aligned, peaceful, and true to her?
Overall, what does this new beginning mean? Will this change make you a better person? Will it truly make you happier? Are you on this journey for yourself or for another? Is it even the right time to be going on this extensive commitment to yourself?
Wait! Before you go, here's a quote for you to take while you leave:
Well, That’s It, Folks
Have anything else to add? What did you think about the points I’ve made?
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