You started glow-up number 1, but got distracted. You started glow-up number 2, but stopped the grind after a week. You took a month’s rest and decided that glow-up number 3 was going to be your ultimate, 180-degree transformation. But again, it didn’t last, and now you’re onto glow-up number 4.

If you’re always in that phase where you feel like you need a true transformation, but every attempt you make seems superficial and temporary, then you’re probably doing something wrong.

Motivation, discipline, and consistency often fluctuate based on your mood, which is understandable, but this can prevent true, long-term growth.

Also, the fact that you only make changes to the things you find exciting is another reason why things are not going as planned.

But I gotchu…

So, if you’re ready to stop the self-sabotage and endure a glow-up journey that will only lead to success, then here are the 10 reasons your glow-up will always fail…until you decide to fix them finally.

Let’s Dive In :)

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You’re Ugly. You Focus Only On Appearance!

Woman with long wavy brown hair standing in a sunlit park, facing away while walking beside a small pond surrounded by trees.

Okay, perhaps I could have phrased this better. But before you judge, truly understand what I mean by this.

A true glow-up isn’t solely focused on your physical looks but on your entire identity.

Of course, it’s okay to improve yourself in stages, but many people never progress to the mental, spiritual, emotional, or social part of their glow-up journey.

This essentially means that although their faces, bodies, and outfits attract glares and admiration, their inner beauty attracts people who aren’t good for them and repels those who are.

As humans, we are aware that we’ll never be perfect, and that we all have flaws that we need to work on.

However, flaws that are self-destructive need to be addressed alongside your physical look or far before you start improving your outer beauty.

All in all, it’s important to note that destructive personal traits like the ones I’ve listed below can diminish your overall beauty:

Bad emotional regulation (reacting without thought, angrily, or impulsively and caring about the consequences later).
Spewing toxicity (emotionally and mentally draining, intentionally and unintentionally harmful).
Lack of boundaries (Ignoring your own voice and tolerating toxic people).
People-pleasing (Showing up for yourself last).
Miss Negative Nancy (positivity is nowhere to be found).

One could argue that everyone has varying degrees of these flaws. Nevertheless, tell me, what other self-destructive traits would you add to this list?

2. You Never Celebrate Your Wins

Two glasses of iced pink spritz cocktails on a heart-shaped tray outdoors, surrounded by green foliage and blooming hydrangeas

It’s important to take pride in your journey. And like anything else, there will be times when things are joyous and other times when sadness or pain will come.

Either way, there’s something so beautiful, eye-watering and calm about looking back on how you started a project that took guts, time and commitment.

Every step in your glow-up journey was like this and should be applauded. It doesn’t matter how small or seemingly insignificant it may be to you. Celebrate happily about what you’ve accomplished.

Every step counts!

So, start feeling good and grateful about the smaller things you’ve accomplished, such as:

Saying no even once without guilt. (It took courage, and it was hard not to overthink.)
Slowly distancing yourself from draining people. (You were able to recognise specific traits in them that did not align with you.)
Trying again after failure. (This is something that you should for sure be proud of because you’re definitely inspiring me.)
Drinking more water every day.
Taking your vitamins regularly.

The list could go on. What are some other small things many in their glow-up journey forget to feel happy about?

3. You Told Others… Or The Wrong People!

Two women’s shadows cast on a sunlit wall at golden hour, with one holding up a peace sign and patio furniture in the foreground

Ever heard of moving in silence?

Many of us have, but understandably, it can be very hard to do so. A glow-up journey is exciting. The new or refined hobbies, the new look, and the new mindset are enticing conversation starters. It’s good news, and good news should be spread!

However, good news given into the hands of the wrong people can slowly turn bitterly sour.

No, I’m not telling you to go into hiding or become a mime, but I definitely feel the need to remind you that not everyone wants good for you.

The mere thought of you wanting to better yourself can annoy certain people, so be cautious about who you tell your goals and aspirations to.

They may not be evil people, but don’t lose sight of your destination and watch out for those who may intentionally or unintentionally decrease your growth:

They’ll make you even more anxious to try new things.
They might mock you for your improved habits.
They might distract you with things that don’t align with your new vision.
They will constantly bring up your old self.

Have you ever had a similar experience? What are other ways people may try to decrease your growth?

4. You Kept Procrastinating

Woman kneeling on a bed and stretching toward an open window in a bright, cozy bedroom filled with plants and soft morning light.

Procrastination, the killer of self-discipline.

…or perhaps it’s more than that.

So you’ve come to the part where you’ve recognised an area in your life that you want to improve but finding it hard to either start or commit fully.

Depending on your situation, don’t just confuse procrastination with laziness. It’s time to understand yourself a little more and figure out why those tasks are still left incomplete.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I really want to do this?
Am I scared of failing?
Does starting this task make me uncomfortable?
Am I comparing myself to others who’ve done this task?
Do I even believe that I can complete this task?
Is this task too big for me right now?

These are very eye-opening questions that will give you the harsh reality of why your glow-up journey never persists long term.

5. Your Environment Stayed The Same

Woman in a red dress walking across a stone courtyard beside an old European-style building with shuttered windows and a balcony

Expecting a true change without working on your environment can lead to a dead end.

There’s no point in levelling up as a woman if your cluttered space, unspread bed, and toxic people are still around to keep you stagnant and the same.

The power of a joyful, peaceful, and aesthetically pleasing environment can have a profound impact on your mental, spiritual and emotional health. That single change can truly unlock wonders.

Of course, not everyone can get up, move to an entirely new city and start over. And for the most part, you don’t need to.

Start by curating your ideal environment wherever you are.

Focus on what you can change and leave the unpredictable to God.

Things that you can start with to better your environment are:

Your bedroom (cleaning and decorating to match your improved sense of self).
Your digital environment (making your digital space more aesthetic and organised).
Your beauty setup (cleaning/organising products and maintaining a beauty schedule).
Your wardrobe setup (cleaning/organising clothes, curating your own fashion style).
Your Social environment (curating the people you allow to have full access to you, curating your social media to reflect the person you’re becoming).
Going to new spaces (joining new spaces to share ideas, hobbies, and have fun).

6. When It Got Harder, You Retreated To The Woman You Were Before

Woman in a white two-piece outfit standing by a calm lake at golden hour, with mountains glowing in the sunset behind her.

Our experiences do indeed shape who we are today. Even a small issue can alter or significantly change the way we perceive the world, making us constantly evolve.

Sometimes things happen in our lives that cause us to find comfort in our bad habits and tighten our grip on them like never before.

We reach a place where our progress is visible, but something happens, and that one step backwards turns into several steps. Next thing you know, we are back where we started.

For some, this is the result of significant, life-changing issues. Still, for many, this is due to loss of momentum and a bad day that led us back to the beginning. It’s seen as much easier than pushing forward.

Nevertheless, as mentioned earlier, trying again after failure is proof that your glow-up journey is truly in the works and that your confidence is growing.

7. You Want To Do It All At Once

Woman dressed in an all-black outfit with a sleek ponytail, standing in front of a dark SUV on a city street with modern buildings behind her.

Glowing up is an exciting task to dive into. The thrill of becoming an entirely new, better version of yourself can’t seem to come fast enough. You feel like you have all the motivation and discipline in the world to carry you through this exciting journey.

One minute you are focused on the way you articulate yourself and convey emotions, then the next minute you are ready for your abs to be toned and glistening.

You have big expectations that you believe you can reach within a short time, but then you get disappointed when you finally realise you won’t be able to achieve them that way.

The ebbs and flows of life don’t make this a smooth journey. So, although you dared to take those starting steps, you eventually became demotivated, and the initial high you once had rapidly decreased.

The best way to do it is to plan efficiently, leaving time for rest. Don’t attempt to do everything at once.

Depending on how life-changing you want this glow-up to be, do it in manageable chunks. Give each section of your glow-up its time to shine while finding little ways to incorporate them all into your daily life routines.

8. You Glow Up For Others, Not You!

Woman in a bright pink dress walking between tropical plants, her hair flowing as she turns, under a clear blue sky.

If your reasoning for glowing up is performative and based on the eyes of others, then it makes total sense why your glow up would have failed and keep failing.

Essentially, you try to become the version that they wanted and building your foundation on this will make you feel worse than where you started from.

A true glow up, as said before, means that you are exuding joy from within, and so you no longer worry much about whether:

Someone notices or approves of you
Someone is jealous of you
Someone regrets losing you
Someone is impressed by you

People you know or strangers who admire you and see your worth are simply a consequence of you becoming a better version of yourself. It should never be your fuel or main strength to strive for improvement.

9. You Were Never Consistent

Top-down view of a person walking on a sidewalk covered in scattered autumn leaves, wearing black leggings, white sneakers, and a dark green sweatshirt.

Consistency creates movement, unlike unpredictable blocks of hard work. They both essentially lead to success, but there is still a clear winner here.

Consistency enables you to progress further with the smallest steps. There’s no pressure, rush, or panic, only a sound mind to overcome and keep pushing. This makes your glow-up journey seem effortless as you become and stay her.

10. You Are Too Perfect

Stylish woman in a mint sweater, beige skirt, and matching hat holding autumn leaves while posing outdoors among colourful fall foliage.

I believe that chasing perfection can be sabotaging, robbing us of joy. This is something that I deal with too: constantly looking to improve, make right, and be the best.

Perfectionism also has a way of slowing us down, making us stuck at one point without any movement.

This also goes back to not celebrating the tiny steps forward, and it eventually leads to procrastination and burn-out.

It’s time to add a bit more spontaneity to our glow-up era. Give it time to let loose and breathe.

To Conclude:

Don’t simply focus on your appearance; you have way more to offer.
Celebrate your small wins. You’re one step closer to a home run.
Move in silence. Don’t be paranoid, but not everyone needs to know!
Leave procrastination behind.
Welcome your friends ‘procrastination’ and ‘burnout’ if you continue on the path of perfectionism.

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Well, That’s It, Folks

Have anything else to add? What did you think about the points I’ve made?

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